A man spent 5 months in prison on Rikers Island not knowing his bail was only $2. After discovering the injustice he paid the bail, but then didn’t have enough left to get out of the parking garage.
Picture Perfect
I cheer every time an animal attacks someone trying to record them with their iphone.
Captain Whack
Audiences are not responding favorably to the re-telling of “Alice Through the Looking Glass” starring Johnny Depp. They especially don’t like the part where the Mad Hatter hits Alice in the face with his cell phone.
Keeping It Casual
Gwen Stefani turned down Blake Shelton’s marriage proposal. As happy as they’ve been together, she just couldn’t see herself pretending to like country music for the rest of her life.
The Lettermen
Last night the Scripps National Spelling Bee resulted in a tie for the third year in a row. The judges were hoping for one clear winner, but once again grossly underestimated the superior brain power of those little geeks.
Packed Lunch
At an airport in Tucson, Ariz., a woman was arrested for smuggling meth-filled burritos. The drugs have a street value of roughly $3,000, but if you want guacamole, that’s extra.
Behind the Mask
A video in which a mother wears a Chewbacca mask and laughs hysterically for 3 minutes has gone viral. Slightly less popular on YouTube – my father dressed as Jar Jar Binks while pissing himself.
Pets Unknown
President Obama met with Anthony Bourdain for dinner at a small restaurant in Vietnam. Amazingly, the meal only cost $6, and that was for the large cat.
GMOh My Aching Head
Bayer AG is offering to buy Monsanto Co. for $62 billion cash. If it goes through you’ll be able buy aspirin from the same company that gave you the headache in the first place.
Root of the Problem
An 8-year-old boy was accidentally served an alcoholic root beer at a TGIFriday’s in Las Vegas. His parents were furious as they were there celebrating their son’s 3rd year of sobriety.