Dating in Miami is more difficult than in most cities. Now women can use Zika as a legitimate excuse not to sleep with me.
Monthly Archives: August 2016
That’s Not What He Said
Running mates Donald Trump and Michael Pence were in direct conflict with each other 3 times this week. Better get it together, fellas. You’ve got a country to burn down.
Word of Mouth
The Associated Press reported that there is no scientific evidence to support the benefits of flossing. “I knew it!” said Gummy McNoTeeth.
This Ain’t the Ritz
Several athletes have complained about their lodgings in Rio’s Olympic Village. One gymnast grew furious when the front desk accidentally gave away his room overlooking the river of raw sewage.
I Go To Pee-o
The waterways of Rio de Janeiro are so filthy right now that even the bacteria doesn’t want to go swimming.
Say It With Flowers
John Hinckley Jr., who tried to kill Ronald Reagan in 1981, will soon be released from a mental hospital. In exchange for his freedom, he had to promise the courts he would explore more traditional ways of impressing Jodie Foster.