Donald Trump is very upset about the FBI recommending no criminal charges against Hillary Clinton. I’m afraid he might do something stupid.
Monthly Archives: July 2016
Be Prepared
Parents in Denver were furious to discover that a Cub Scouts camp was sponsored by a local Hooters restaurant. Despite the controversy the weekend was a huge hit, and every boy got a merit badge for successfully pitching a tent.
Sticky Fingers
I noticed this beautiful woman on the beach tonight when suddenly a firecracker blew up in her hand. She wouldn’t give me her phone number, but I picked up a few of her digits.
Secret Stash
My parents are both atheists and they tried to raise me without any religion. But then one day I found a bible in our house. It was hidden under my dad’s porno mags.
Left of the Dial
Tonight Garrison Keillor will step down as host of NPR’s Prairie Home Companion. He was forced into early retirement after Guy Noir caught him dumping hazardous chemicals into Lake Wobegon.
Homeward Bound
Legendary singer/songwriter Paul Simon might be calling it quits at age 75. “He’ll come crawling back,” said former bandmate Art Garfunkel.