The TSA has seized more than 1,500 guns from carry-on bags since January, forcing travelers to purchase cheaply made and overpriced weapons from the airport gift shop once through security.
Monthly Archives: July 2016
Copy and Paste
Melania Trump might have plagiarized portions of her RNC speech from Michelle Obama’s 2008 DNC speech. Making matters worse, this morning she was caught yanking carrots out of the First Lady’s vegetable garden.
Business Model
Tonight Melanie Trump will take center stage at the Republican National Convention. Donald has advised her to speak from the heart, and to try not to embarrass herself.
Drop the Mike
Donald Trump has picked Indiana governor Mike Pence as his running mate. This guy is so anti-LGBT that he only writes with a 22-letter alphabet.
Eight is Enough
Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger will father his eighth child at age 72. Jagger claims he would have worn a condom had he known about them.
Quit Playing Games
I don’t even know what Pokemon Go is, but I’m ready to declare war on anyone under 30.
Finger Lickin’? Good!
A new study shows that thumb-sucking in young children may be protective against allergies, whereas thumb-sucking in adulthood is just plain weird.
Deals on Wheels
In Coconut Grove, FL, an Uber driver was arrested for attempting to sell an undercover cop a bag of cocaine. That’s quite a service. My last Uber driver didn’t even offer me a breath mint.
The Real Me
I’m currently enrolled in a self-help program on how to be more authentic. I highly recommend it. They’re teaching me all the tricks.
This Case Has No Legs
Olympic athlete and double amputee Oscar Pistorius has been sentenced to 6 years in prison for the murder of his girlfriend. Many people feel he should have received a minimum of 15 years, but at least the judge didn’t let him walk.