Janet Jackson is postponing her “Unbreakable” tour so that she can have an unspecified surgical procedure. All the dates will be re-scheduled for the spring under the new title – the “Not Quite 100 Percent” tour.
Category Archives: music
Honey Don’t
Ringo Starr has fallen on hard times. Not only did he auction off his iconic Beatles drum kit this past weekend, I heard he had to take a second job selling shoes at the Skechers store.
I Know a Place
Last night I called an UBER cab and my driver was none other than Soul Legend Mavis Staples. I asked her to drop me off at the nearest strip club and, ironically, she would not take me there.
Sacré Bleu
Celine Dion will perform a musical tribute for the people of France this Sunday night on the American Music Awards. Hasn’t Paris suffered enough?
An Inconvenient Truth
Bon Jovi and Elton John will be headlining a 24-hour concert to raise climate change awareness. Because of our growing dependency on Spotify and Pandora, the entire music industry could soon be underwater.
Four on the Floor
NBC’s The Voice judges Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton announced that they are officially dating. However, Adam Levine and Pharrell Williams are still only friends with benefits.
Song for the Ages
The copyright to the tune “Happy Birthday” has finally expired, meaning it can now be used without paying any royalties. Available soon on iTunes – Jon Curtis Rose Sings and Plays ‘Happy Birthday’: Names Starting with ‘A’. I’ve already got an idea for a follow-up album.
A Thousand Words
A body language expert reported that Beyoncé may have a crush on Lebron James – concluding this after studying photos of the two interacting. She then continued with a second theory – that Nicki Minaj might just be in dire need of a restroom.
Crowd Pleaser
Lenny Kravitz split his pants during a show last week, exposing his genitals to the audience. I just saw the picture. His penis has kind of a retro vibe reminiscent of Jimi Hendrix and Sly Stone.
The Organist
Sometimes people will laugh at me when I tell them I’m a jazz pianist – because “pianist” (when pronounced correctly) sounds like “penis.” However, it’s nothing compared to the daily ridicule I endured when I was a classical vaginist.