Today SeaWorld San Diego is ending its long-running killer whale show after years of public outcry. It will be replaced with a new exhibit showcasing porpoises with non-violent criminal records.
Category Archives: crime
Bosom Baddies
A California man serving a life sentence for murder has received sex re-assignment surgery and will be transferred to a women’s prison. Tom Hanks is already looking at a preliminary script.
Join the Klub
A&E Network is set to air a documentary series about present-day KKK culture. Four Klan families have agreed to these in-depth interviews, with hopes that you’ll keep an open mind.
Take the Hint
President Obama criticized FBI director James Comey by stating “we don’t operate on innuendo.” Comey is still trying to figure out what Obama meant, but promises to get back to us real soon.
Sounds Like a Weiner
The FBI is now investigating Anthony Weiner for online chats with a 15-year-old girl, but he says he has “likely been the subject of a hoax.” Weiner’s wife is saying the exact same thing about her marriage to Anthony.
Bad Vibrations
Mark Wahlberg has withdrawn his request to be pardoned for a crime he committed as a juvenile. Instead, he is now seeking amnesty for his years as a South Boston gang leader – the notorious Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.
The Foxcatcher
Gretchen Carlson has been awarded $20 million and a public apology for her unfair treatment while working at Fox News. Greta Van Susteren, who announced her departure earlier this week, got a Shoebox card and a fancy cupcake.
Baby Catcher
In Washington DC, a 2-year-old toddler received a $75 fine for littering. While it may seem ridiculous to punish a baby for such an offense, further investigation revealed a year’s worth of unpaid parking tickets.
Bozo
In South Carolina, a clown has been trying to lure kids into the woods behind an apartment complex. I honestly don’t know where Donald Trump finds the time.
What’s in Your Wallet
Ramen noodles have displaced tobacco as the most popular currency among prison inmates. For example, it now costs 3 packs of ramen to stop your cellmate from raping you (previously valued at 2 packs of cigarettes.)