After a 7-week vacation, congress failed to pass a bill funding Zika prevention. And I thought the mosquitoes were the bloodsuckers.
Category Archives: current events
Baby Catcher
In Washington DC, a 2-year-old toddler received a $75 fine for littering. While it may seem ridiculous to punish a baby for such an offense, further investigation revealed a year’s worth of unpaid parking tickets.
At Your Service
Today Donald Trump spoke jive at a black church in Detroit.
Intentional Grounding
Yesterday Seahawks Jeremy Lane joined 49ers Colin Kaepernick by sitting down during the national anthem. Despite the negative press, both men have been offered lucrative endorsement deals with LaZboy chairs.
Bozo
In South Carolina, a clown has been trying to lure kids into the woods behind an apartment complex. I honestly don’t know where Donald Trump finds the time.
Salud, Mi Amigo
Today Donald Trump is headed to Mexico City to meet with President Peña Nieto. Trump plans on offering him a clear solution to border control, and Nieto plans on offering him a glass of tap water.
O Say Can You Sit
Quarterback Colin Kaepernick says he will continue to sit during the national anthem in protest of racial injustice in America. Being that Kaepernick’s parents were mixed-race, coach Kelly has asked Colin if he would compromise by standing on one leg.
Family Portrait
Former congressman Anthony Wiener was caught yet again sexting photos of himself in his underwear, but this time his 4-year-old son was also in the picture. Weiner tried to capture some solo shots, but his kid couldn’t hold the camera steady.
White Noise
Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are so busy calling each other “racist” and “bigot” that they both forgot to RSVP David Duke for his dinner party this Saturday night.
SPF 1000
I couldn’t get any work done today with all the burkinis out by the pool.