Track Palin was arrested for domestic violence against his girlfriend, interfering with a police report, and possessing a firearm while intoxicated – all on the same day his mother, Sarah endorsed Donald Trump for president. Somewhere right now Ted Cruz is sipping a margarita.
“American Pie” composer Don McLean has been arrested for domestic assault. He became violent after his spouse informed him that the levee was actually wet.
A woman was arrested for indecent exposure after lying down naked in front of a painting at the Musee d’Orsay in Paris. While some spectators found it inappropriate, a visiting group of 12-year-old schoolboys have called it the best field trip ever.
Cuba Gooding Jr. chose not to meet with OJ Simpson as part of his research for the FX television series in which he portrays the fallen NFL star. He didn’t want OJ to influence his performance, or to viciously murder him from across the table.
Miss Washington USA Stormy Keffler has returned her crown after news of a DUI conviction has gone public. Pageant officials were unaware of her drinking problem, as most of the other contestants had also exhibited mood swings and incoherent speech.
Backstreet Boy Nick Carter was arrested for starting a bar fight in Key West, FL. The responding officers quickly became irritated and confused, having been told they would get to meet Justin Timberlake.
If I win the Powerball jackpot I’m going to give all of it to my ex-girlfriend, and then she will finally realize how stupid she was to break up with me.
Sean Penn’s secret meeting with “El Chapo” may have ultimately led to the drug lord’s capture. Mexican special forces simply followed Penn’s trail of broken cameras and injured paparazzi.
Rupert Murdoch and Jerry Hall have announced their engagement. Some say she is only marrying him for his money, but those close to her profess that it’s his compassionless conservatism that melted her heart.
Hugh Hefner is selling the Playboy Mansion for $200 million, but if you buy it he gets to stay there until he dies. No deal, Hef. I hear you like to throw parties and I’ve got to study.