NASCAR CEO Brian France is receiving internal backlash for endorsing Donald Trump. It appears that the average race car fan feels that Donald might give white trash a bad name.
Category Archives: current events
Are You Gonna Go My Way
Last night Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, and John Kasich all agreed to support Donald Trump if he becomes the Republican presidential nominee. As a thank you, Donald offered them all honorary degrees from his prestigious Trump University.
No Class
Former students of the now defunct Trump University are suing for fraud. They claim that they were promised the secrets of becoming Donald Trump. I’d say they got their money’s worth.
Open Ticket
NASA astronaut Scott Kelly returned to Earth after completing a year-long mission on the International Space Station. Upon landing he learned that Donald Trump might be our next president. Kelly then grabbed his things and headed back into space indefinitely.
Here Kitty
I just heard on NPR that 51% of women in America are single, this being a 3% increase from 2011. In other news, Pet Supermarket just raised the price of house cats.
His Best Work
Jennifer Garner says she knew nothing about her ex-husband Ben Affleck’s fling with their nanny until after their divorce was final. So to those of you who think Ben is a lousy actor, think again.
Mature for his Age
In Harrisburg, PA., a 23-year-old Ukrainian man was discovered posing as a high school student since 2012. He will certainly be facing jail time, but with good behavior they may let him out in time for the prom.
Stay Thirsty, You A-holes
Dos Equis spokesman “the Most Interesting Man in the World” is being sued by his talent agency. They are demanding that he pay them 2 million dollars, plus interest.
Show Off
This morning Hilary Clinton visited the set of ABC’s television drama “Scandal.” Not to be outdone, this Sunday Bernie Sanders will guest star as a rotting corpse on AMC’s “The Walking Dead.”
The Lights Went Out in Massachusetts
Today in Springfield, MA., Camille Cosby will be answering questions by 7 women accusing her husband of sexual assault. Camille is understandably very nervous, so Bill gave her something to help her relax.