Donald Trump has picked Indiana governor Mike Pence as his running mate. This guy is so anti-LGBT that he only writes with a 22-letter alphabet.
Category Archives: current events
Eight is Enough
Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger will father his eighth child at age 72. Jagger claims he would have worn a condom had he known about them.
Quit Playing Games
I don’t even know what Pokemon Go is, but I’m ready to declare war on anyone under 30.
Finger Lickin’? Good!
A new study shows that thumb-sucking in young children may be protective against allergies, whereas thumb-sucking in adulthood is just plain weird.
Deals on Wheels
In Coconut Grove, FL, an Uber driver was arrested for attempting to sell an undercover cop a bag of cocaine. That’s quite a service. My last Uber driver didn’t even offer me a breath mint.
This Case Has No Legs
Olympic athlete and double amputee Oscar Pistorius has been sentenced to 6 years in prison for the murder of his girlfriend. Many people feel he should have received a minimum of 15 years, but at least the judge didn’t let him walk.
Bad Thoughts
Donald Trump is very upset about the FBI recommending no criminal charges against Hillary Clinton. I’m afraid he might do something stupid.
Be Prepared
Parents in Denver were furious to discover that a Cub Scouts camp was sponsored by a local Hooters restaurant. Despite the controversy the weekend was a huge hit, and every boy got a merit badge for successfully pitching a tent.
Secret Stash
My parents are both atheists and they tried to raise me without any religion. But then one day I found a bible in our house. It was hidden under my dad’s porno mags.
Left of the Dial
Tonight Garrison Keillor will step down as host of NPR’s Prairie Home Companion. He was forced into early retirement after Guy Noir caught him dumping hazardous chemicals into Lake Wobegon.