Philadelphia will soon be imposing a soda tax of 1.5 cents per ounce, making free refills the newest form of tax evasion.
Category Archives: politics and government
Hack Job
Russian cyber hackers infiltrated the DNC’s computers and stole research on Donald Trump. In response, Trump plans to build a 45 ft firewall around his own computers, and he wants the Russians to pay for it.
H.C. Phone Home
Hilary Clinton says she will open the X-files and declassify Area 51 if she becomes president. Maybe it’s me, but it seems like she’s trying to alienate her constituents.
Change of Plans
Airport security lines have been so unbearably long lately that even radical Islam is thinking about staying home this summer.
Thinking Out Loud
House Speaker Paul Ryan met with Donald Trump this morning and asked him point blank if he shared their party’s conservative values. Trump responded by asking, “What are values?”
It Dulls the Senses
Budweiser is renaming its beer “America” this summer. They must have sent Donald Trump a couple of cases in advance. He’s been drunk on America for well over a year.
Don’t Tempt Me
Former house speaker John Boehner referred to Ted Cruz as “Lucifer in the flesh.” Lucifer is now suing Boehner for defamation of character.
Cruz Control
In an unusual move, Ted Cruz named Carly Fiorina his VP pick before even securing the presidential nomination. Even more strange, he chose Ben Carson to head the Department of Energy.
Please Excuse Me
Today the Pope met with Bernie Sanders, but cut the visit short after explaining he had to go to Lesbos to pick up 3 families of Syrian refugees. Sanders grew skeptical and told the Pontiff that if he didn’t want to hang out, next time just say so.
Free Parking
The National Park Service is waiving all entrance fees for one whole week. They feel that every American, no matter what income bracket, deserves the chance to be eaten by a bear.