I couldn’t get any work done today with all the burkinis out by the pool.
Category Archives: politics and government
Them’s Fightin’ Words
U.S. Soccer suspended goalkeeper Hope Solo for 6 months after calling the Swedish team “a bunch of cowards.” Despite this display of poor sportsmanship, she’s already lined up a job as Donald Trump’s new campaign manager.
Double Trouble
CEO Rupert Murdoch has replaced Roger Ailes with two co-presidents, potentially doubling the amount of sexual harassment at Fox News.
Mean Girls
Donald Trump said his remarks that Obama founded ISIS were sarcastic. Obama responded to Trump by rolling his eyes with a dismissive “whatevs.”
That’s Not What He Said
Running mates Donald Trump and Michael Pence were in direct conflict with each other 3 times this week. Better get it together, fellas. You’ve got a country to burn down.
Hitman
Donald Trump said that he wanted to hit several speakers at the DNC, and that he would have done it if he had full-size hands.
Wait for the Beep
Wikileaks has struck again, this time releasing 29 stolen voicemails from the DNC. Republican strategists are now hard at work trying to negatively spin 3 wrong numbers and 26 butt dials.
Feelin’ Not So Groovy
Last night 200 Bernie Sanders supporters walked out of the Democratic National Convention. They had heard that Paul Simon had returned to repeat his Monday night performance.
Hotmail
Russian officials are calling accusations that they released the DNC’s hacked emails to Wikileaks as “absurd”, adding “We’re too busy doping our Olympic athletes.”
I Know It Was You, Fredo
Debbie Wasserman Schultz will resign as DNC chairperson at the end of the week. She is in no rush to get home, as Bernie Sanders is most likely waiting for her in her driveway.