Donald Trump wants the government to cancel Boeing’s contract to build an updated Air Force One. Because not only is the plane too expensive, but it doesn’t even come with all those tacky gold fixtures he loves so much.
Category Archives: politics and government
Man of Fortune
Donald Trump received a congratulatory phone call from Taiwanese president Tsai Ing-wen. Moments later she called back, having forgotten to give him his lucky numbers.
A Dog is a Big Decision
Donald Trump has picked retired General James “Mad Dog” Mattis as secretary of defense. Melania reluctantly agreed to Donald’s newest appointment but with one rule: he’s not allowed on the sofa.
Bunch of Meatballs
A white nationalist group celebrated Trump’s victory at a Maggiano’s Italian restaurant, concluding their dinner with a chilling “Sieg Heil!” The restaurant was mortified, and has since apologized to the New Black Panthers for giving away their table.
Sh*t Show
Donald Trump needs to stop worrying about SNL and HAMILTON and start focusing on his upcoming situational comedy.
It’s 3am I Must Be Lonely
Donald Trump is so thin-skinned that if someone took away his smart phone he’d borrow someone else’s so he could tweet about how unfair it was.
It Sounds Cool
Donald Trump wants the cast of Hamilton to apologize to Mike Pence for what they put him through last night: A two and a half hour hip-hop musical about government.
GOPble GOPble
According to an annual report, this year the cost of preparing Thanksgiving is down. Because now that the republicans have swept the elections, we have a surplus of turkeys.
Alt-Right Hand Man
Trump’s soon-to-be chief strategist Steve Bannon is so overtly racist that even the Ku Klux Klan takes everything he says with a grain of salt.
That’s My Impression
A Claude Monet painting sold for $81.4 million at a New York auction yesterday. This price might sound outrageous to some, but I’ve heard of more ridiculous things – like Donald Trump is going to be president.