Last night Jeb Bush told Donald Trump, “you’re not going to be able to insult your way to the presidency.” And for the first time Trump remained silent, as he administered to Jeb a tremendous wedgie.
Category Archives: politics and government
Grease is the Word
Tonight I was playing blocks with my 4-year-old niece and every time I reached for one she said that it was hers. As I am no stranger to politics, I gave her 50 bucks and we now expect the esplanade project to be completed by early January.
Back Door Man
Yesterday a man wrapped in an American flag climbed over the White House fence. Someone needs to tell Jeb Bush that he’s starting to look a little desperate.
No Myth
It is no longer certain that Marco Rubio or Jeb Bush will secure the presidential primary in their home state. Republicans are now leaning toward Everglades resident and “Grassroots” candidate, the Florida Skunk Ape. He’s tougher on gator crime.
Benched
Today I reported for jury duty but was dismissed almost immediately. I didn’t even get to tell them about my most recent UFO sighting, or my thoughts on 9/11.
Back to Work
Former Bridgeport, Conn. mayor Joseph Ganim is running for re-election after serving 7 years in prison on a corruption conviction. He hopes to reclaim his old job, stating that at the time of his dismissal there was still more money to steal and people to screw.
Sneak Peak
President Obama will rename Mt. McKinley during a trip to Alaska this week. The change will be chronicled in an eight-part one-hour docu-series called I Am Denali. Sundays on E!
Ask Me No Questions
Donald Trump ejected Univision anchor Jorge Ramos from an Iowa press conference for asking questions about border control. Much to Trump’s chagrin, Mr. Ramos then worked his way back into the room through a series of underground tunnels.
Rode Werk
I exspect more from my tax dollars.
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Asleep at the Wheel
The enormous variable message signs above I-95 currently read “Alert Drivers Can Avoid a Crash”. Maybe that’s helpful, but when I roll down my window and scream, “Eyes on the road, asshole!” fewer tax dollars are wasted.