I got caught cheating on my DNA test. They were able to figure it out because I had the exact same results as the billy goat sitting in front of me.
Category Archives: culture
Nap Time
A Southern Oklahoma day care center is under investigation for child abuse on suspicion of drugging children with liquid Benadryl to get them to sleep. Most of the parents are outraged as everyone knows you give them whiskey.
Rode Werk
I exspect more from my tax dollars.
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Dog House
After hearing about the Ashley Madison hack I realized an opportunity for a new business venture. For those of you who have been outed as cheaters, please visit my website www.youcansleeponmysofa.com. Space is limited.
Sorry to See You Go
I once belonged to a vicious street gang that threatened to kill me if I ever tried to leave. Well I got myself out and I’m still alive, but they are relentless with the emails asking me to renew my membership.
It’s Not Faire
I used to think of myself as a renaissance man. That was until thy lusty wench of a wife ran off with thy stable boy. Now I’m just a renaissance cuckold.
Party of 2
I emailed several of my friends that I was having a birthday party and no one bothered getting back to me except Daemon Mailer. He wasn’t even on my guest list, but he brought a delicious potato salad.
Eye in the Sky
As I enter the grocery store and glance up at the video surveillance monitor, I experience 2 emotions. First, a feeling of security in knowing that no one is getting out of here without paying for that head of lettuce. And second, a feeling of insecurity as I can clearly see how far my hair loss has progressed.
Little Havana
Yesterday I visited Little Havana in Miami. While I was there I smoked a miniature cigar, drank a tiny mojito, and danced to the music of little Celia Cruz, Cuba’s most famous dwarf.