I once dated an exorcist, but she told me I had too many demons.  Then I dated a bellhop and she told me I had too much baggage.  Enough of this dating!  I’m sticking with prostitutes.

I’m currently having an affair with my neighbor’s wife.  Everyday at noon I go over to her house and we make passionate love for sometimes over an hour.  It’s a little risky though;  Her husband works at home.