Gaining momentum this week is the national debate regarding which bathroom transgender students are allowed to use at schools. I personally don’t care which one they go in, as I have always spent my most private moments in the janitor’s closet.
Category Archives: lifestyles
Hit and Run
I woke up this morning next to a stranger, so I quietly gathered my things and let myself out. I’ve got to stop doing this. This is the second apartment I’ve lost this way.
Wedding Season
A thrice-divorced Kentucky county clerk has repeatedly denied marriage licenses to gay couples. While at first it seemed like she was condemning homosexuality, she quickly explained they were just running low as a result of needing so many for herself.
All the Accessories
My neighbor attached decorative “car lashes” to the headlights of her vehicle. I do admit they make her Volkswagon Beetle look quite stunning. But I’m feeling sexually conflicted because as she pulled away I also noticed the “truck nuts”.
It’s Not Faire
I used to think of myself as a renaissance man. That was until thy lusty wench of a wife ran off with thy stable boy. Now I’m just a renaissance cuckold.
Showgirl
I was traveling alone in Las Vegas. Upon returning to my hotel room I discovered my top drawer was filled with nothing but women’s panties. I called the front desk to complain. Thankfully they recovered the missing bras and feather boas, so I was still able to perform at Burlesque Weekend.
Party of 2
I emailed several of my friends that I was having a birthday party and no one bothered getting back to me except Daemon Mailer. He wasn’t even on my guest list, but he brought a delicious potato salad.
For the Birds
I have been stealing my neighbor’s morning newspaper for over a month. I know it’s not right, but if you ran an indoor bird sanctuary out of your apartment like I do, you’d understand the need.
Bogeyman
Sometimes late at night I get the feeling there’s a monster under my bed. But then I remember I’m on the top bunk and my roommate is sleeping below me. Silly me. I hope I didn’t wake you, Mr. Cosby.
Unfinished Business
6 months ago I went on a date with my dental hygienist. At the end of the evening she politely told me she wasn’t interested in any future dates. Well, I just received a postcard from her office reminding me it’s time for a cleaning. Sure, maybe she just wants to see if my gums are healthy, but I’m thinking she finally realized how stupid she was.