Former students of the now defunct Trump University are suing for fraud. They claim that they were promised the secrets of becoming Donald Trump. I’d say they got their money’s worth.
All posts by JCR
Open Ticket
NASA astronaut Scott Kelly returned to Earth after completing a year-long mission on the International Space Station. Upon landing he learned that Donald Trump might be our next president. Kelly then grabbed his things and headed back into space indefinitely.
Here Kitty
I just heard on NPR that 51% of women in America are single, this being a 3% increase from 2011. In other news, Pet Supermarket just raised the price of house cats.
State Rep-tile
The Florida Wildlife Commision captured 106 Burmese pythons in order to raise awareness of this invasive species. But honestly, one only needs to look at Senator Marco Rubio to realize that Florida has a snake problem.
His Best Work
Jennifer Garner says she knew nothing about her ex-husband Ben Affleck’s fling with their nanny until after their divorce was final. So to those of you who think Ben is a lousy actor, think again.
Mature for his Age
In Harrisburg, PA., a 23-year-old Ukrainian man was discovered posing as a high school student since 2012. He will certainly be facing jail time, but with good behavior they may let him out in time for the prom.
For the Greater Good
The best part about being single is at the end of the day, I’ve usually only disappointed myself.
Stay Thirsty, You A-holes
Dos Equis spokesman “the Most Interesting Man in the World” is being sued by his talent agency. They are demanding that he pay them 2 million dollars, plus interest.
Show Off
This morning Hilary Clinton visited the set of ABC’s television drama “Scandal.” Not to be outdone, this Sunday Bernie Sanders will guest star as a rotting corpse on AMC’s “The Walking Dead.”
The Lights Went Out in Massachusetts
Today in Springfield, MA., Camille Cosby will be answering questions by 7 women accusing her husband of sexual assault. Camille is understandably very nervous, so Bill gave her something to help her relax.